#Leo learns NOTHING

[agalactichalo]

Counting to Three: Holding it Together PT. 1 (TMNT 2012)

@tmnt-write-fight Attack For @dorky-pals

A big thank you @awildaspenappeared for helping me write this!

Author Note

Author has compulsions and used bits of their own experiences in this.

I will probably move this to A03 When I can make an account.

Summary

Leo had to count to three. One, two, three. His brothers all accounted for, it kept them safe. He was sure of that until suddenly Donatello wasn't present and he panicked.

What follows are tense arguments, strains between the brothers, a fight gone bad and Leo and Donnie have a spat. Need for space vs need for safety.

OR

An IDW event almost becomes canon because Leo and Donnie get caught out after bitching for a couple hundred words.

Word count: 2,388

♡━━━━━♡

One.. Two.. Three..

Red.. Orange.. Purple..

Raph.. Mikey.. Donnie..

The headcount loop Leo often found himself stuck in over, and over, and over throughout the day, finding himself only leaving the dojo of the lair to make sure everyone was still alive and safe. There were a few rooms the teen would check consistently, Donnie’s lab, the living room, the kitchen and Mikey and Raph’s bedrooms.

It turned into a routine, a force of habit. He would tell himself it was necessary, not wanting it to be a big deal so it was simply something to assure they were safe. It never changed from hour to hour however, one, two, three, his brother still in their usual spots, getting nothing more than a glance at most usually when he would check their space. Unless Mikey was in his room rather than in the kitchen, the youngest would sometimes try to pull him into conversation. He was smart with it, always having Leo participate in something that kept him there for more than a minute. It was sneaky but.. nice. It was the most normal feeling-thing as of late.

Unfortunately, his brother wasn’t ready to enter the dojo again, not that Leo could blame him. The empty shrine where what little pictures Splinter originally preserved being empty now made this all the more real. His room was still untouched but just the knowledge that Splinter had never reopened that door in the dojo was a haunted thought.

This day was no different, Leo had done the headcount religiously, only leaving the dojo to do so. Looking around as he made his usual rounds. One. Two. Three? Surely he just made a mistake. There had to be three. He needed to check again, there just had to be three! Where did his brother go? One: Raph was lounging in the living room, comic on his lap and Chompy on his plastron trying to follow along.

Two: Mikey was in his room and was once again flipping through a scrapbook Leo knew was filled with photos of them and Splinter. Icecream Kitty’s bowl resting next to him, as Mikey showed the cat every image he had, giving a brief story for each. Three? Donnie’s lab was empty. And he hadn’t seen the other leave it since Splinter’s death unless it was for patrol or food. Forcibly at that!

Leo kept trying to tell himself he was overthinking, that things were fine, but the only other places he could think to look were the bathroom and kitchen. Maybe the other just got hungry. He kept telling himself, that was until he was faced with another empty room. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. He can not lose anyone else. Not again! He’s already lost his father. And his brother had already been dead once!

The living room wasn’t too far away. Leo headed over to Raph with vigor. “Have you seen Donnie?!” He asked frantically, looking around the room just in case he missed sight of his tallest sibling somehow.

“Leo, you are taking this whole, checking on us thing way too far.” Raph replied as he lazily turned a page. Chompy let out a churr, which would have the teen stop reading and pet the little guy. “He probably just needed some fresh air, you know like most people? If you could call a mutant turtle a person.” He snarked, sarcasm and wit dripped from his words pooled on his tongue, ready to poison the next. He hadn’t seen the other leave but he had other things to do than babysit his immediate younger twin brother.

“Raph this isn’t funny! What if something happened? He would have told us if he left wouldn’t he?” Leo sputtered out quickly, his hands gesturing and moving aimlessly as he spoke. It felt wrong without the count being completed, his anxiety rising rather quickly. He had to finish the count but he couldn’t do that without Donnie… What was he saying? He was worried for Donatello’s whereabouts, not just that a sequence was finished.

It didn’t take long for Leo to leave Raph to his own devices, going to see if their youngest brother had seen Donnie. Mikey sitting up from his bed as his door was opened, “Hey Leo, weren’t you just in here?”

“I was Mikey,” Leo would pat his little brother's head lightly, trying to hide his anxiety. “Have you seen Donnie anywhere?” “No, but maybe he made himself smaller with some of his chemicals and sciency stuff! Oh! Oh! Or maybe he managed to make an invisibility ring, like the one I have in Mazes and Mutants!” Mikey would exclaim, grinning ‘ear to ear’ or well more accurately tympanum to tympanum.

Leonardo didn’t know if that was possible, but then again, they were just in space for six months fighting in situations that were arguably even less possible. What if Mikey was right! No that was ridiculous- but he has been right about oddities before! This was enough to kick his anxiety into high gear, making him check every room in the house again,  “Donnie! Where are you?!” Leo would call out as he looked, soon getting to the one room that didn’t pass his mind to even check, the door opening before he could even reach for the handle.

“Why is it so loud out here?” Donnie would ask more groggily, his blanket loosely draped over himself. He had overwhelmed himself with all the work he was giving himself to do, finally allowing himself to get some rest. Unfortunately for him that was short lived by his brother's anxiety.

“Donnie! Are you okay? You look like shell, where were you? You weren’t in your lab or the living room!” Leo would start mother hen Donnie, his hands on his younger brother's shoulders as he spoke.

“Did you forget I have a bedroom?” Donnie asked, his eyebrow ridge raised, moving to cross his arms as he looked down at his older brother.

“You normally aren’t there- I-” Leo would start to explain to Donnie, realising how ridiculous it probably sounded now that it was being said out loud.

“You could have checked there- listen Leo, your constant checking is getting worse, it feels like every few hours-,, no, every hour at this point you are checking on all of us.” Donnie would start to explain however soon hear his twin speak, cutting him off an annoyed sigh escaping Donnie.

Raph chiming in with an, “An hour is generous Donnie.” A more annoyed tone of voice, standing at the end of the hallway leaning against the doorframe.

Donnie rolled his eyes waiting for Raph to be done before giving a “anyway what I am trying to say is it feels like it is turning into-.. or has turned into a compulsion. Well they are hard to deal with they can be helped if-"

"I don't need help! They, they aren't.. compulsions or whatever. I'm simply checking that none of my brother's are in danger. I-I” Leonardo would stop himself from being too vulnerable with his brothers, seeming too weak. “I promised Splinter to keep you all safe and so far my ‘checking’ has!"

“Leo, your ‘checking’ only feels like it is helping because it is a safe constant, when you experience compulsions, from in this case a large change. It is to avoid negative outcomes that may not even be real, they are in an unhealthy way to relieve stress and-” Donnie would grow more annoyed when he was cut off again. The mixture of being sleep deprived, overstimulated and cut off making him want to yell.

“Donnie, stop. None of that is true. Have you eaten? Last time I checked on you, you hadn’t.” Leo would try to deflect the situation off of himself, it wasn’t true after all! The other was pushing his buttons in the worst ways right now and he didn’t know how much more of his pushing he could take.

“We aren’t kids anymore Leo, we know how to handle ourselves.”

"You?! You know how to handle yourself? You can’t even take care of yourself without constant reminders to step away from your childish tinkering!” “As if you’re much better. You can’t cook anything but ramen yourself.”

“What? And you can do better?” “Actually, yes I-” “And what about how you are always the first to get hurt in every single damn fight we have?” “Oooooh, Leo swore!” Mikey chimed in, trying to ease the tension, standing at his door with Icecream Kitty’s bowl in both hands. “Leo! That is not fair-” “Fair? There is no fairness in combat. You have to be the very best or you’ll end up dead. Again!”

“Do you want to fight with a literal stick?”

“I’d do it better than you.”

“Then how about you do it!” Donnie unsheathed his bō staff from his holder and shoved it into Leo’s hands harshly before he made for the lair exit.

Leo would stare at the bō staff quietly, he knew how to react when Raph acted like this, but he didn't expect it from his other brothers! He soon snapped out of his thoughts as he watched Donnie walk away. He started to move to follow his brother.

Raph could sympathize with how his brother felt here, so he would move and hold Leo back. “Leo, let him blow off some steam,” seeing himself in Donnie as Donnie walks off.

“What? No! I can't just- Donnie come back!” Leo yelled after him, he didn't know what else to do, he can't handle himself, he's been too vulnerable lately. Everything was wound tightly on a coil he meticulously upheld. Yet he could only watch as it unraveled before him, in a mess of emotions.

Leo however would ignore Raph's attempt at stopping him from going after their brother, leading to him nearly getting tackled by Raph. He pushed his brother away, Mikey carefully grabbing onto Raph's arm. Mikey could not have another brother leave right now. “Do.. Do you want to bake something with me?”

Donnie found himself traveling to the place he usually goes to find materials for his creations, the scrap yard. Tired eyes surveyed around at the broken parts littered around in their janky, uneven piles.

He didn’t have his usual mental list of things he was hoping to find, he mostly just wanted to get away. Tinkering with technology, figuring out chemical solutions and drawing plans was his form of escapism. Though it was hard to escape when your head was too cloudy to think.

“Donnie what are you doing?” Leo would ask the bō staff held outstretched, as if offering a truce as he held the staff for Donnie to grab. “You don't need anything from here right now and it'll be dawn soon. Stop being stupid and come back to the lair.”

Donnie looked over, his gaze switched from his bō staff to his brother's gaze “I’m not being stupid, Leo. I am taking some much needed space after your constant helicoptering!”

Donnie pinched the bridge of his beak and sighed heavily. “Leo, I'm not trying to start an argument or debate right now. I'm just trying to have some space.”

“You think that leaving without your weapon, with no one knowing where you were going was the best thing to do? Seriously! I need to know where you all are, you-you-I-you could get hurt or get in trouble and we wouldn't even know.” Leo started pacing, the anxiety pulsing through his body needing some sort of outlet.

“No. You'd be far safer in the lair where I can make sure you're all safe for the moment.” Leo started tapping against the bō staff with nerves strung high. “We should go. Now.”

"Shell! Leo! I can't be there for you every second of every day!" Donnie shouted exasperated. He'd exhausted every logical option there was. Donnie twiddled his thumbs in circular, repetitive motions. Using this motion to help himself calm down and breathe, “It feels like you guys never listen to me unless it’s what you want to hear, Leo I was trying to help.”

“I’m supposed to be the one helping you guys Donnie- Master Splinter said that I was to replace him as Sensei as a-” Leo cut himself off. He swallowed thickly but continued calmly, acting as if he hadn't just choked on his words. “If anything happened to him, my duty is to solve all your problems.” Donnie listened to Leo talk, his gaze growing from annoyed to sympathetic and more sad. “Awkward sibling hug?” He offered. Stood there holding out hands, his stance more awkward than purely tense.

“Awkward sibling hug.”

 The teen walked over to his older brother, wrapped him in an awkward sibling hug, two gentle pats onto his brother's carapace. “Pat. Pat.” He added trying to lighten the mood a little as he choked out, “You are our brother Leo, you may be our leader but you are our brother first, we can help our problems together.”

Donnie gave a mischievous grin, “Or we could tell Mikey you are bottling up your feelings again?” Knowing his brother would pester at Leo until he cracked. No one could resist Mikey's puppy-dog eyes.

“Okay! Okay! You win, just don’t tell Mikey” Leo would laugh, shaking his head moving to tap his brother's carapace with his hand. “Let’s just go home now before someone sees us.” “Yeah, let’s head home now.” Donnie then diverted his eyes to his staff that Leo offered once again. “Thanks.” He twirled the staff briefly before sheathed it on his back.

They snuck under the familiar fence with the large hole in it and began to make their way home when all of a sudden Bebop and Rocksteady crash down from their rooftop perch heavily. Well Rocksteady did. Bebop more or less landed on top of the rhinoceros.

This caused Leo to immediately settle into the previous preconceived notions he had at the realisation that all of his anxieties were real. If he was stopped by Raph, Donnie would be in so much danger right now. This was proof his system kept them safe because when the system didn't work, they got into dangerous situations and fights.

At least now he could protect his little brother.

[koiihpon]

Don’t wait up…

colored this panel from @thegunnsara's Back to the Past comic (part 6) :]

the bottom panel was so striking when I first saw it that I just needed to color it heheh sorry it took a while to finish ><

orig under cut vvvv

[scatterbrainedbot]

the realization that a 03 leosagi child could be a dragon-bunny hybrid hit me like a derailed freight train a few days ago

i do not know her name or anything else all i know is that her fam is as surprised and awed by her as i am

also that mikey needs a refresher on how biology works

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: sacrifice / self sacrifice / slight suicidal themes / death mention / ]

I personally think that Leo took the wrong lessons from the movie. I definitely think he grew to understand the importance of teamwork and making sure he takes others into account so as to not harm them by proxy of whatever scheme he has cooked up, however based on the ending events I’m not quite certain he fully grasped two things.

The first thing is communication. Oh, he can communicate, and he does, when he deems it necessary. When he’s setting up a plan prior to the action. But this is where the second thing comes in.

The second thing I don’t think Leo truly grasped is “it’s not about you.” It’s so unbearably easy to take that the wrong way, especially when taking the rest of the series into account.

What I believe Leo took from this message is not “it’s not just you, everyone matters and can contribute, can help and be helped” but “put the whole of everyone above yourself” which can both be a good lesson…and a fatal one.

And it is fatal, we see as much in the movie.

Even after the big hope speech, when Leo is “fighting” Krang!Raph, he takes a huge risk. Sure, it worked, and Leo managed to get through to Raph through a well deserved apology, but it could have so easily ended in his death and yet he barely even hesitates to go for it.

And then again, to the big scene at the end, where Leo sacrifices himself not only for the sake of his family, but for the whole world.

To him, that’s the message to take from this. That the lives of everyone, of the greater good, matters…more than him. That the risk to himself is worth it if others can be saved.

Leo learned that gambling with his life as the betting chip is always the best move to make in the end.

And to make matters worse…this thinking is what works.

These risks are ultimately what is needed to save the day, so why would Leo look away from it now? Clearly it’s the right move and everything worked out!

Thing is, Leo did grow from the events of the movie. He learned to take things more seriously and be more mature, he learned to value his team’s input and capabilities enough to rely on them more, and he learned to be less self-centered and realize the turmoil others were going through (especially if that turmoil is a result of his actions.)

But still, he’s grown to accept the gamble of his life as a viable answer to their problems.

Personally, with how Leo has been shown to toy around with the idea of “it’s better me than them” I think this goes beyond sacrifice in the name of love or even sacrifice in the name of responsibility, and pushes over into sacrifice in the name of worth.

[somewhereincairparavel]

I'm so immersed in my jason grace new rome uni fic that I'm studying ancient roman law terms using this as an excuse. help.

[aroaceleovaldez]

we don’t address enough the fact that Annabeth and Leo both know Morse code. and Leo taps out “I love you” in Morse code constantly. To the entire rest of the Argo 2 crew Leo is just randomly tapping all the time but Annabeth can tell exactly what he’s tapping, and knows that he knows what he’s tapping out too. That must be so confusing to her since Leo doesn’t talk about his past ever. From her perspective he’s just constantly saying “I love you” to everything? nothing? Unclear.

[whatdancingdorkswasalreadytaken]

this is peak older sibling energy and i love it

[thisisadonaldduckblognow]

ik it’s probably a classic case of extrapolating way too much but... the way raph’s character design lines up w his whole arc and role and struggles...

like the fact that he is so so so much bigger than the others. raph is big, raph is strong, raph is steady and sturdy and he can literally pick up his entire family and carry them all at once. 

and like, when raph is so big and so strong and such a reliable thing. when raph is the protector, the one calling the shots on missions, the mother hen, the first point of authority. when raph is there, overprotective, when raph (for all that his brothers poke at him not being good under pressure) always always ALWAYS comes through at the end of the day when things are serious, ALWAYS gives it everything he’s got. 

his design and his learned role/behaviors in this family are just the perfect storm of why it took up to the season finale to drive home the issue.

so much of the series carries the default energy of “raph will handle it.”

raph will hold up the ceiling above you. raph will throw himself over you and take a hit and get back up and keep fighting. raph has a power that makes him even bigger and draws more attention and makes him able to carry MORE. raph will be the substitute parent. raph will be put into the mentor role through leo’s leadership arc. 

and raph is big. he’s built to carry heavy loads. raph is strong. raph is bold and loud and always ready to try to push on. even if he doesn’t know what to do or what he’s doing, he won’t give up and we’ll all pull together and things will turn out okay.

(his room is full of teddy bears. he dipped out on a mission to try to take a picture of a pigeon carrying a slice of pizza. he’s terrified of being alone.

he’s just as much of a kid as his brothers are. he’s just as new and inexperienced with the things happening to them as his brothers are. but for him, for some reason, there’s like this double standard where that becomes a huge glaring flaw.)

idk this got very sloppy and uncoordinated. i’m very in my feelings about raph right now though.

[calikitters]

this song makes me so unwell because it is sooooo quintessentially pjo like every character has a line here it's insane I'm sobbing so hard

[thaliagrayce]

y'know what we don't talk about enough? Hazel died. We talk about how she grew up in the 30's and 40's and we talk about how out of place she feels in the modern world, but! She died! She was dead! She has spent more time dead than alive, and not by a close margin!

How does that effect a person??? We got some of it in the flashbacks, but once those caught up with her present timeline and she shared them, they just kind of... disappeared. And she was a regular girl with some weird past experiences. That's one way of doing it, sure!

I think it would have been a lot cooler if she was just a touch creepier. If she felt a little bit Wrong. Yeah, in general she's more approachable than her brother, she's more sociable and less closed off, but. If you actually spend any time with her, it can be difficult to tell which child of the underworld is actually more unsettling.

Hazel is bright of personality and has a dazzling smile, but sometimes she'll just... shut down. She'll go completely blank for like half an hour and nobody knows what to do with it. Sometimes she forgets she's alive. Sometimes she'll spout the grimmest shit you've ever heard like it's nothing, she won't even notice it's weird until the room goes quiet. She spent decades in Asphodel, which is designed to make people forget about themselves and wander around for eternity, only she didn't have the luxury of forgetting! Wild! After she comes back to life, sometimes she forgets that she's allowed to Do Stuff now. She can spend so long sitting and staring at nothing. Sometimes she'll start crying on cloudless days because it hits her again that she can actually feel the warmth of the sun on her skin and she can hear birdsong. Every little mundane experience is a blessing and she will make you remember that in the most foreboding way possible.

[thedawningofthehour]

Hey, did you know cattle, goats, sheep etc can't see red? I don't think it'll ever come up in my fic but I want you to know I HC that Draxum thinks his fur is brown and no one has told him he's pink because everyone assumes he knows. - Mudlark

LMAO! I can imagine him not realizing that he's colorblind too. Like December rolls around and he's wondering what's so festive about browns. (oh my god, he really WOULD be that sad beige mom who painted her kid's Christmas tree)

I think rats also have protanopia, and I have theorized in the past that Splinter inherited this when he mutated and that's why Leo is Blue when he has red markings. Put through a filter and his eye bananas literally look cyan blue.

Oh god, I just realized that this would be something they actually agreed on.

[neverfullydressed-withoutasmile]

So, regarding the events of round 9... Yeah I'm not fucking okay right now

[tirednapentity]

Brainstorming a separated au to avoid impulsively cutting my bangs again and I’m having such a good time. Cramming dysfunction into these boys like my life depends on it. Mikey and Donnie are racing to see who can kidnap each other first, everyone is kinda concerned about Leo and his truckload of not just mommy issues and Raph’s just kinda there like wow you’re all crazy. What’s a parent, they sound stressful. WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN HAMATO-

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: technical child endangerment / ]

Y’know every time I see the turtle tots playing with their original weapons I’m always flabbergasted that Splinter let Leo have a literal sword as a small child.

And then left him unsupervised with it.

Like, at least the others had blunt weapons (though still dangerous in their own right, especially Raph’s blunt tipped sais) but Leo’s katana are so easily lethal that it’s a miracle he seemed to be a natural with them. Because, if he wasn’t a natural then…oof.

It’s at least a good thing he only got one sword at first and not his usual two. Splinter would’ve needed to count his lucky days because OOF.

[lab-trash]

Bro!

Imagine the dynamic between Leo and AJ! They fuckin robbed us in LREF, it should've been Leo instead of Bree!

[moe-broey]

LIKE. I'm not saying Takumi Can't be mean, he absolutely can be mean. I def feel like his supports w Elise teeter on feeling too mean for my liking (but also the fact that it's Elise he's talking to could be a factor in why I feel that way like!!!!!!!! How are you gonna be mean to Elise 😭😭😭💔💔💔💔)

BUT. It does feel in line for him. ESP given the context that she's one of the princesses of Nohr. And maybe it feels A Bit better too, because Elise is being just as stubborn as he is, but in her own way for her own goal (wanting to befriend him). Even when it's clear Elise is hurt and disappointed, it just... doesn't feel as sad as it does with Felicia??? Maybe because of how she handles it as well.

ALSO I think the payoff for Takumi's fuck ups are ESPPP rewarding in Elise's convos, when he does apologize and make up with her. His supports with her are actually some of my favorites, they are SO sweet and so fun 🥺 (DYING when she calls him "kid" like. That is SO funny to me. Elise is just a brilliant character herself LMFAO)

Idk. I just think. They should have handled his supports w Felicia differently. He can still be mean, and it can even feel bad as an audience member looking at it, but I think if it had the right context/right payoff it would have been fine at worst and rewarding at best.